I don't even know who I am right now. I am used to fighting. I am used to being ready to take on this battle. I am not used to feeling empty. I am so horrifically afraid that I just feel like a moving shell. I can't stop thinking if I feel like this...poor Luke! My poor little, innocent boy...is the one that is going to be tortured with pain. He is the one that will be left to stare at 4 walls without a breath of fresh air for months. He is the one that is too little to verbalize his true feelings, yet mature enough to say enough to melt my heart.
We are blessed with the most loving and supportive family and friends. Our neighbors each hung a green balloon from their mailboxes and wrote special sayings on their driveways to show their love and support for Luke. When I asked him how he felt, he said "happy and sad." He couldn't explain why. I just told him I would be with him and he would be with me and that's all we need. He quoted "Homegrown" by Zac Brown..."I've got everything I need and nothing that I don't." So smart, sweet Luke! We just need you to be well. Sleep cozy in your bed tonight. Tomorrow we leave our world behind. We are loved and we are not alone. It takes a team to make this happen...family, friends, Friends of Karen. We are blessed.